Operation Matchup: USUK Edition
by grandiloquentCaecity
Summary: Mission 2- America and England. Hungary and Belarus are back for more matchmaking mischief. And this time their vic- uh, targets are none other than England and America. Sequel to Operation Matchup: JapanxChina edition. Can be read alone. Human names used


**Ok people! Hungary and Belarus here for the next edition of Operation Matchup! **

**Dissing o' claim: Nuff said.**

**Warning: Umm, well, besides the standard shonen-ai which you should be aware of since you are reading this in the first place, there is gonna be quite a bit of crack in here. As well as some piratey goodness (courtesy of a friend of a friend who we think, sadly, was high at the time. Not a good thing, but still comedic gold.) You have been warned.**

**-**

_This is the sequel to Operation Matchup: ChinaxJapan edition, but can be read alone._

**-**

"Man, yesterday was so fun!" Elizaveta laughed, grinning at Natalia over their now customary cup of morning coffee from the local starbucks as they walked into the meeting room.

"I know! We should so do it again sometime!" Natalia agreed, taking a sip of her own coffee. The two girls had opted to wear more normal attire that day.

Elizaveta paused, a thoughtful expression on her face, "Is it just me, or do we always seem to end up planning these things over caramel machiattos?"

"I dunno, maybe. Wanna know what I do know about caramel machiattos?" Natalia asked with a huge grin on her face.

"That they're extremely delicious?"

"No- well, yes, but that it's really fun to say!"

"Caramel machiatto." A look of wonder appeared on Elizaveta's face, "Oh my gosh, you're right!"

The two girls started to say "Caramel machiatto" over and over again at the same time.

"Caramel machiatto! Caramel machiatto! Caramel machia-"

"What on earth are you two doing?" England demanded as he walked into the meeting room.

"Caramel machi- I mean, just talking." Natalia grinned at Arthur. She held out her cup of coffee to him, "Want a sip? It's a caramel machiatto."

"I think I'll pass."

"Suit yourself. But at least try saying it! It's so much fun to say!"

"No thank you." England has a forced grin on his face as he looked for a way to get around the two girls and to his seat.

"Morning Iggy, what's up?" Alfred, burst into the room, slinging an arm over Arthur's shoulder, knocking the smaller nation off balance.

"Ah! Alfred, what was that fo-" England began to protest, but was cut off by Hungary.

"America! Quick! Say caramel machiatto! It's so much fun to say!"

Arthur rolled his eyes as he righted himself, somehow "forgetting" to push Alfred's arm off of his shoulders. "Please, like he'll fall for some childish ploy like-"

"Caramel machiatto. Oh my gosh, it is fun!" Alfred exclaimed with a childish gleam in his eyes. America joined the girls in their machiatto chant as Arthur made his way to his seat, grumbling about idiotic, overly-caffeinated morons all the way.

_--Time skip: lunch break--_

"Arthur! Over here! Come sit here!" Alfred was waving frantically, trying to get the older nations attention, his other hand gesturing to the empty seat on the bench next to him. Arthur rolled his eyes, and affectionate smile on his face none the less as he made his way over to the hyper American.

Neither male realized that they were being watched.

"Natalia, I do believe that we have found our next targets." Elizaveta commented, taking a sip of a (yet another) caramel machiatto.

"Elizaveta dear, I do believe that you are right." Natalia grinned, taking a sip of her own coffee drink, "And I do love it that Alfred decided to hire that Batista at the meeting building."

-

"Okay," Elizaveta turned to Natalia. Both girls were in their all black 'spy' attire ((see their previous adventure for a better description of said outfits)), "We should go about our recon... better this time."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh. I dunno, maybe _not breaking anyone's nose!"_

"He tried to touch my butt! I mean, really! He had it coming! He only had himself to blame! If you had been there, if you had _felt _it, I bet you you would have done the same!" Natalia protested, "Be glad I didn't murder him."

"_That _would have been a legal nightmare." Elizaveta shuddered at the thought.

"Tell me about it, nightmare indeed." Natalia rolled her eyes, "I mean, not that I would know or anything..."

"Oi vey..."

"Can we just skip this recon business? I mean, we know that they like each other. Let's just handcuff them to each other and be done with it!" Natalia threw her hands up in the air.

"No! Where's the fun in that?" Elizaveta said in an 'isn't it obvious' tone of voice.

"But I even brought the handcuffs!" Natalia dangled a pair of shiny silver handcuffs in the air.

"Where did you get those!?" The Hungarian woman demanded with a slightly horrified expression. Natalia shrugged.

"I got them from Nii-chan's room."

"_Russia!?"_

"Oh _shaiza,_I wasn't supposed to tell anybody about that." Natalia panicked slightly.

"Forget it, forget it. Let's just go be sketchy."

"Now that is something I'm good at."

-

"How lucky are we they were already hanging out with each other!" Belarus gushed as she and Hungary observed from across the street, pretending to be looking at clothes. "Oh, look at this cute top!" She held up the hanger so that Elizaveta could see.

"Ooh, that is cute. And we are lucky. They're practically doing our job for us." Elizaveta agreed, inspecting a pair of pants.

"So, handcuffs..."

"No."

"Aww, come on!"

"No! Come on, let's go check out and continue following them."

-

A few minutes later, the girls were back on the trail, shopping bags draped over their arms. They followed Arthur and Alfred into another store.

"Are they going into a _bookstore!?_" Natalia asked, sounding more than a little but incredulous, "I never thought Alfred would be one to want to go to a bookstore."

"It's obviously Arthur who wanted to go the store." Elizaveta stated.

"Oh. Right."

Elizaveta and Natalia hid behind a bookshelf as Arthur leaned down to browse. Alfred, who was standing next to the Brit, looked around, a bored expression on his face. When his gaze turned in the girls direction, Elizaveta moved behind the shelf fast enough, but not Natalia.

"Crap! I've been spotted! There's only one thing to do! Give me your frying pan!" Natalia looked and the Hungarian.

"No, I'll do it. You distract him." Elizaveta pulled the cooking implement out of one of her shopping bags. "I'll be right back."

So, as Natalia made various faces at the confused American (who was trying to hold in his laughter), Elizaveta quietly snuck up behind him, brandishing her frying pan. When she was close enough, she struck, making a sound hit to America's head, causing him to hit his head on the bookshelf next to him, knocking a few books loose, which came tumbling down on his head. Elizaveta made her quick escape.

"Ow!" Exclaimed the dazed nation.

"Alfred! Are you all right!?" Arthur jumped up, putting a hand on the American's shoulder for support.

"I'm a pirate!" Alfred stumbled.

"Oh god, I think he's finally lost it."

"A starfish just took my lighter!" Alfred stumbled again, leaning on England for support. Said Brit just rolled his eyes.

"Alfred, do you want some coffee?" Arthur asked, hoping to snap the other our of his blunt force trauma induced state.

"No! Tony says I can't drink coffee or he'll feed me to the chocolate sharks!"

"Chocolate sharks?"

"Yeah, you know, sharks made of jelly beans?"

"OMG, Alfred I love you!" Belarus said between her and Hungary's suppressed giggles.

"Alfred, are you okay?" Arthur asked again.

"Huh? I want a bagel." Alfred said.

Arthur rolled his eyes, but decided to go along with it. "You can't have one. You're at sea."

"Oh... Right... I'll wait until Columbus gets here first." Alfred leaned even more on Arthur, who felt a blush starting to rise in his cheeks.

"He's not coming, Alfred."

"Damn! The kraken got him then!" Alfred tried to stand up fully, but fell to the floor. Arthur offered his hand to help the other up, grinning. This was kind of funny.

"Hey Alfred."

"Yeah?"

Arthur had an idea. "Did Gilbert take all the candy to the brussel sprout cove and bury it in a rock?" He asked, his voice positively oozing sarcasm.

"No, it was Francis who stole the caramel cheesecakes and buried them in the rain forest at the edge of the world. But I don't want to sail there cause I'm afraid I'll fall off... Gilbert just fell off portside."

Arthur just sighed. This was getting ridiculous.

"Arthur. We're being watched."

"By who?"

Elizaveta and Belarus froze. Their cover was officially blown. They made a move to escape when they heard Alfred's reply.

"By those stupid flying dolphins! I knew dolphins belonged in the sky... stupid dolphins who think they can swim and shit." Alfred cried and Arthur just gave him a blank stare. The girls, on the other hand, were barely able to contain their laughter.

"Umm, Alfred, do you need anything?" Arthur asked, seriously beginning to doubt his friend's sanity, "Like, oh, I dunno, an ice pack, or a doctor, or or, a straight jacket?"

"No," Alfred swayed a bit, "But Naruto just lost his noodles..."

"What?" Arthur asked, really confused. Kiku had obviously been lending the American manga... again.

"I don't want to be a pirate anymore..."

"What do you wanna be, then?"

"I wanna be Grimmjow!" America suddenly cried.

"Do you now?" Arthur asked, not knowing what in the world a 'Grimmjow' was.

"Wait... isn't that the same as being a pirate?"

"No, Alfred, it's not..."

"Really? Cause there's a difference?"

"What's that?"

"One uses swords and the other uses laser beams." The American stated matter of factly.

"Right. That's it. You're clearly not mentally stable enough to be alone. You're coming back with me to my hotel room." Arthur led the taller man out of the store.

"Score! They're going back to a hotel room together!" Elizaveta exclaimed.

"Oh yeah! But wait, we didn't get to use the handcuffs." The girl complained and Hungary grabbed the handcuffs and threw them at a poor, unsuspecting hotdog vendor.

"Hey, wait! Those weren't mine!" Natalia cried.

"Let's just go!" Elizaveta groaned, pulling the other girl along.

-

"The eagles have landed."

"What?"

"The foxes are in the hole."

"Huh?"

The Hungarian woman sighed, "Arthur and Alfred have entered the hotel room."

"Well why didn't you just say so!" Natalia stated, hands on her hips.

"You have issues with spy lingo, don't you." Asked and exasperated Elizaveta.

"So what if I do" Demanded Natalia, "Anyway, what do we do now? They're in the hotel room, so that makes a closet pointless, and I don't have my handcuffs."

"I have an idea. Let's hijack roomservice."

"Brilliant! I have fake mustaches in my purse!"

"I don't even know how to respond to that."

-

A knock came at the door, followed by a cheery call of 'room service!'

"Strange, I didn't order anything." Arthur looked up from his book. He was currently lounging on the bed while Alfred was sprawled across the couch. "Did you, Alfred?" He asked. The other man was, for the most part, back to normal, only slightly groggy and with a major head ache.

"I need some Advil. Or Aleve, or Tylenol, or even Vicadin." The American asked, arm over his eyes to block out any incriminating light that burned his sensitive eyes.

"I'll take that as a no." The Briton sweat dropped, but got up to answer the door none the less. He was met by two "men" who looked oddly familiar. "Can I help you?" He asked hesitantly.

"Room service!" The two cried at the same time, pushing the cart they had with them into the room before taking their leave.

"What the hell."

-

"I knew it was a good idea to jack that cart they were taking to the honeymoon suite." Natalia grinned as she pulled of the male hotel staff uniform she had been wearing.

"Come on, I have an idea." Elizaveta led the other girl to their next destination.

-

"What the hell." Arthur repeated as he looked over what was on the cart. It included things like a bottle of champagne as well as various foods in little heart shapes.

-

"I never knew you were a hacked." Natalia asked in wonder as Elizaveta's fingers flew over the keyboard in the electrical control room for the floor.

"Of course I am!" The other woman replied with a laugh.

-

"What in the world!?" Arthur cried as the lights in the room dimmed and music began to play. The music sounded almost... romantic. "Curiouser and curiouser."

"What'cha got there?" Alfred asked as he wobbled over, one hand still to his head.

"Watch yourself!" Arthur stood up and held out his hand to steady the other.

"Whoa!" Alfred pitched forward, pinning the Brit onto the bed.

"Hey!" Arthur protested and tried to push the other off to no avail. Alfred was officially out cold, and it didn't look like that was going to change any time soon. Arthur sighed and reluctantly settled in for the night.

-

"I think we can say mission success for the night." Belarus said as she and Elizaveta returned to their room to plan the big finale for the next day. But not before Elizaveta ducked into the room to snap a picture of the two sleeping nations, who were unconsciously cuddled up against each other.

_-Time skip: the next day at the world summit meeting-_

"Iggy! Iggy! Look!" Alfred pointed with wide eyes gleaming at a sign.

"Free hamburgers." The Brit read, "Oh boy."

"Come on!" Alfred dragged the other nation in the direction the sign pointed.

"Step one complete" Said a figure hiding behind a potted plant.

-

"Here it is!" Alfred cried with glee as they found a room with a bunch of signs pointing to it, all saying hamburgers. The American moved to open the door into the dark room, his other hand still gripping England's wrist. Both walked into the room, but when they were completely in the room, the door slammed shut of its own violation, followed by a small click. The only light in the room was that which shone in through the frosted pane of glass in the door.

Alfred froze. It was just like something out of one of those horror movies that scared him so much. Suddenly he felt something brush against his cheek, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw something white. "G-g-g-ghost!" He cried, frantically grabbed onto Arthur, clinging to the other man.

"That's not a ghost, you twat, that's a handkerchief." Arthur rolled his eyes. The younger man was so easily scared.

"No! It's a ghost!" Alfred cried, hiding his face in England's shoulder.

"Trust me, you wanker, it's not a ghost!"

"A-are you sure?" Alfred looked up. Suddenly both nations blushed at proximity of their face, a distance that was slowly decreasing on its own.

"Mission success." Two voices whispered from in the ceiling. Elizaveta pulled the fishing pole with a handkerchief attached to the end. The two girls did their signature handshake, complete with the cry of 'Bam!' at the end. But the other two in the room were too absorbed with other... activities to notice.

-OMAKE!-

Russia looked around his room, "Hey, were did my handcuffs go?"

-

_Next time: GerIta!_

_-_

**There we have it! USUK done! Man, that was so much fun to write.**

**What do you think was on our minds when we wrote it.**

**Oh, and anyone who can point out all four hints at other things we included in this gets the next edition dedicated to them or a USUK oneshot written in their honor. **

**Well, until next time, _Ja ne!_**


End file.
